Yes, I nag. I know it’s useless, and it rarely gets me anywhere with my kids, but I still sometimes catch myself doing it. Last weekend, the boys did not do their clean-up chores, which they normally do pretty well. I got home from my errands and there they were on the XBox, the living room looking like a landscape in the game they were playing. So I nagged. I got righteous (you know, about all the things I do for them … blah, blah, blah) and from there it’s only a hop skip and a jump to obnoxious. I even found myself obnoxious.

I was thinking about this on my bike ride this afternoon, how when I nag, all I am doing is repeatedly going over the things I don’t want them to do. It’s sort of like telling someone not to think about elephants (and telling them over and over again “don’t think about ELEPHANTS!”) By the time you are done, you can be sure that the one thing the person will remember is … elephants. Duh!

To be a parent is to get it wrong, time and again – but still not give up on yourself or your children. There are those happy moments when I remember to speak to my children with respect and understanding. To explain what I do want instead of condemning what I don’t.

It works. And everyone feels a lot better about it.