We had a great days on Saturday, my sons and I, cleaning the house. That’s right, I said “great day.” It was satisfying, the boys were into it, and we had fun while we were at it.

Believe me, it isn’t always that way around here. What went right? Well, about six things, to be exact. Here’s the list …

1. Spell out the tasks
I generally make a check list on a sheet of paper. I even put check boxes beside each task. Although this makes me sound like I am super-organized, I assure you, I am not. That is exactly why clarity around tasks is important. It also give the boys a finite list of chores, instead if my coming in over and over with other requests.

2. Show them how
This weekend, the lesson was in cleaning the toilet. I didn’t ask them to do it, I just asked them to watch, and explained the steps as I went. My plan is to let my older son do it next time, with the rest of us watching. I’ll let my younger son do the talking, if there is anything to point out, or to remind the older son. The time after that, I’ll let the younger one do it, with us watching and encouraging. By then it will be imprinted, I figure.

3. Work together
Working together is more fun. It’s that simple. But as important, if I am working hard alongside the boys, I am subtly cuing the same behaviour in them. This time, I was doing some thorough kitchen cleaning, while they did the standard cleaning chores in the front hall, living room, and dining room. When we were all done those jobs, we convened in the bathroom to do that together.

4. Check on their progress
It’s so easy to get lost in what you are doing, but it is so important to check in on your younger workmates from time-to-time. And when you do …

5. Give praise
Even if they need correction or guidance of some kind, you can always praise the effort! A few kind words go a long way.

6. Plan on something fun afterwards
This is kind of obvious, but it’s just plain good strategy not give out treats, or permission to do other things until after the work is done. That said, most people feel pretty good when they’ve done a good job, so there is an addition intrinsic reward in the sense of accomplishment. Our reward was a great dinner with friends who came over. It was a pleasure to sit down to great food in a clean house and enjoy each other’s company.

Don’t get me wrong. I nag, I complain, I annoy my kids – I definitely don’t always do it as well as I did this weekend.

Not by a long shot.

But I believel that parenting is a long process, and each time we get it right, we inch our kids a little closer to being able to lead a happy, productive life themselves.